Tag Archives: beetlejuice

14 Mixed Messages All ’80s Kids Got From Cartoons

And they wonder why we’re so screwed up.

1. It’s alright that your boyfriend cheats on you.

Hasbro

Hasbro

 

Strangely, Jerrica never seemed to have much of an issue that her boyfriend, Rio, was having an affair with her alter-ego Jem.

2. It’s totally cool to take a controlled substance that gives you crazy energy and causes you to, literally, bounce off the walls.

Walt Disney Television

Clearly the Gummiberry Juice that the Gummi Bears made was some sort of crazy meth — which might explain why Duke Igthorn really wanted it.

3. It’s perfectly OK to terrorize senior citizens.

Cookie Jar Group

Cookie Jar Group

 

Poor retired Mr. Wilson, he just wanted to live a peaceful quite life, but Dennis and his gang felt the need to torment him. And even worse, Dennis’ parents seemed perfectly cool with that.

4. No one ever gets hurt in gun battles.

Hasbro

For as many battles as the G.I. Joe Team got in with Cobra Command, no one ever seemed to get wounded. Maybe the fact that they were such bad marksmen was the reason they could never take down Cobra?

5. You might have a long lost sibling out there that you might want to hook up with.

Warner Bros.

I think it’s safe to say that He-Man and She-Ra were the original Jaime and Cersei Lannister. And don’t act like you didn’t ship it.

6. It’s OK to harm someone as long as you’re doing it because of love.

Seriously, that Care Bear stare was NO JOKE. The Care Bears might have seemed like cuddly harmless creatures, but they weren’t above taking you down.

7. If a crime happens, you should help solve it.

Walt Disney Television

The Rescue Rangers were always snooping in on the police and taking on cases that probably should’ve been handled by actual law enforcement — or at least professional rodent law enforcement.

8. It’s perfectly safe to leave toddlers unsupervised for several hours.

Like who in the hell was raising all those Muppet Babies?! ‘Cause it sure as hell wasn’t Nanny — who never seemed to be around.

9. You should love money more than anything else.

Walt Disney Animation / Via giphy.com

Sure, Scrooge McDuck had a rather large extended family, he was even raising his three grandnephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. But what he seemed to care for the most was his vast fortune and his Number One Dime.

10. If you’re the only female in a situation, expect to get harassed, constantly.

Poor Smurfette, those perpetually horny Smurfs seemed to never give her a second to breathe.

11. It’s normal for a creepy adult to hang out with a teenage girl.

A creepy poltergeist adult to be exact. Let’s be honest, Beetlejuice and Lydia’s relationship was clearly a (paranormal) episode of To Catch a Predator waiting to happen.

Also, why weren’t Lydia’s parents just a little more concerned with the fact that she was very obsessed with the occult?

12. Being a super-rich teenager gives you permission to be ruthless and mistreat those who are not as well off as you.

Mill Creek Entertainment

Beverly Hills Teens was perfectly suited for the ’80s, the decade of excess. The show featured rich spoiled teenagers that in between attending high school, spent all their time living a Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous wet dream. Of course the show’s true star was Bianca Dupree, who was the series’ resident villain who used her money to scheme against her friends and be cruel to her chauffeur Wilshire.

13. It’s fine to keep secrets from adults.

Yeah having a dinosaur friend like Denver would be cool, but having it possibly kill one of your friends, not so cool.

But, you know, don’t let your parents know ‘cause they might take your dangerous friend away.

14. You should strive to be irresponsible and constantly stoned.

The Jim Henson Company / Via muppet.wikia.com

Those Fraggles were high-as-fuck 24/7, and they did nothing but lay around, have the munchies, and share in each others trippy dreams.

On second thought, those hippie Fraggles were onto something.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/briangalindo/14-mixed-messages-all-80s-kids-got-from-cartoons

21 Movie Monsters Who Are Actually Kind Of Hot

Because who wants to hook up with a pathetic human?

1. Imhotep, The Mummy and The Mummy Returns

Universal / Courtesy Everett Collection

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: His body makes the 3,000-year wait for resurrection worth it.

Best Feature: His ability to conjure up a plague of locusts.

2. R, Warm Bodies

Summit Entertainment / Courtesy Everett Collection

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: We know his heart won’t be the only thing working extra hard tonight.

Best Feature: His sensitive soul.

3. Laurie, Trick ‘r Treat

Legendary Pictures / Via basementrejects.com

Why She’s Prime Banging Material: She’s a Red Riding Hood in the streets, and a wolf in the sheets.

Best Feature: Her teeth. She knows how to use them.

4. Master Gracey, The Haunted Mansion

Walt Disney Co. / Courtesy Everett Collection

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: He can’t wait to reveal himself to you. And he has an entire mansion full of rooms to do it in.

Best Feature: His accent.

5. Billy Butcherson, Hocus Pocus

Walt Disney Pictures / Buena Vista Pictures / Via sphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: He’s been waiting to use his mouth for too long.

Best Feature: His mouth, duh.

6. Female Cenobite, Hellraiser

New World Pictures / Via images.alphacoders.com

Why She’s Prime Banging Material: Her unofficial nickname is “DeepThroat,” so do with that what you will.

Best Feature: Her composure.

7. Sully, Monsters, Inc.

Buena Vista Pictures / Courtesy Everett Collection

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: He’s the top scarer, so he knows all sorts of ways to make you scream.

Best Feature: His hunky physique.

8. Davy Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Walt Disney Co. / Courtesy Everett Collection

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: So many tentacles. So many possibilities.

Best Feature: Dat beard, though.

9. The Pale Man, Pan’s Labyrinth

Picturehouse / Courtesy Everett Collection

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: He’s got big hands, and an even bigger appetite.

Best Feature: His hands…his eyes…his hand-eyes?

10. Jennifer, Jennifer’s Body

20th Century Fox / Via jarviscity.com

Why She’s Prime Banging Material: She’d give one hell of a hickey.

Best Feature: Her ability to unhinge her jaw.

11. Jack Skellington, The Nightmare Before Christmas

Buena Vista Pictures / Courtesy Everett Collection

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: He can remove any part of his body with no consequence. Imagine the possibilities.

Best Feature: His swoonworthy singing voice.

12. Maurice, Little Monsters

United Artists / Courtesy Everett Collection

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: You know he’ll have no trouble finding your bed in the dark.

Best Feature: He looks dashing in a leather jacket.

13. Scott Howard, Teen Wolf

MGM / Courtesy Everett Collection

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: He’s a grower, not a shower.

Best Feature: How comfortable he is in his own skin. And fur.

14. Hellboy, Hellboy

Universal / Courtesy Everett Collection

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: He’s literally hot as hell and ripped AF.

Best Feature: His Right Hand of Doom.

15. Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice

Warner Bros. / Via s.newsweek.com

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: He’ll always come when you call.

Best Feature: His impeccable fashion sense. Obviously.

16. Freddy Krueger, A Nightmare on Elm Street

New Line Cinema / Via s3.amazonaws.com

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: He’s good with his hands.

Best Feature: He’s the only guy who can pull off a fedora.

17. Pennywise the Clown, IT

ABC / Warner Home Video / Via villains.wikia.com

Why It’s Prime Banging Material: He’ll scare the pants off you. And you’ll like it.

Best Feature: He already knows your darkest secrets.

18. No Face, Spirited Away

Toho / Studio Ghibli / Via spiritedaway.wikia.com

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: You know that once he’s yours, he’s yours for life.

Best Feature: His generosity. Whether you want it or not.

19. Lipstick Face Demon, Insidious

Alliance Films / Via blog.nuraypictures.com

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: He won’t be afraid to tell you when he wants it.

Best Feature: His muscles and dark complexion.

20. Santánico Pandemonium, From Dusk Till Dawn

Miramax Films / Via gulfnews.com

Why She’s Prime Banging Material: Her feet look good enough to drink off of.

Best Feature: Her feet. You know why.

21. Brundlefly, The Fly

20th Century Fox / Via s3.amazonaws.com

Why He’s Prime Banging Material: Because deep down, you know he’s still Jeff Goldblum.

Best Feature: Jeff Goldblum.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/annakopsky/movie-monsters-who-are-actually-kind-of-hot